Nicolas Ghesquiere Leaves Balenciaga

I felt like I was shot in the stomach when I read this earlier today. I was like...whaaauuuuut...I mean if I was expecting major fashion news I wouldn't be surprised to see something like 'Lagerfeld Dead. Designer slips in bath' or maybe 'Formichetti dumped by Mugler in non-shock horror'.

I know that everyone is saying this right now but I need to chime in too. Who in Egyptofunk hell is going to replace him? Alberta Ferretti? This is like Galliano and Dior where the designer has had such an incredible impact on the blueprint of the brand that the entire image has to be stripped back and re-started. For Balenciaga it's the undoing of 15 years of, Jesus Christ, real fashion.

So who will replace him? Who's unemployed right now? Hannah MacGibbon? Cedric Charlier? Nicolas should take a break, go horseback riding or scuba diving, travel a bit, get a tattoo, take drugs then come back and ghost design for Dress Barn.

*Cries in fashion*

Homosexual Style

I'd prefer not to look like I have a chubby vagina on my backside but whatevers. Also worth noting is the brand name of this premium gay denim company: Wanq.

Shit that's on Sale for a Reason

Just doing some online snooping and had a revelation of sorts. Well not a revelation, I think I'm merely pointing out what is obvious: Sale items are ugly. Case in point:

It's like Gareth Pugh for Jacqui E. And do you know it was originally priced at US$315? It's now $95 and not surprisingly it's available in every size. 

The sale area of a store-bricks and mortar or online-is always a bit of a freak show. All the pieces from a collection that just don't work get relegated to the sale area and wait to die. It's like a rest home for clothes on life support. What's sadder is those pieces that could've worked if only some minor detail hadn't been added or if it were done in a different colour. Like the oatmeal single parent having a night out at Tabaret with the gang wrap above. Maybe if it had been done in black or navy? Even then I think you'd be clutching at straws. Next item:

A checkered mall goth at a Nascar meet and greet scarf. Originally US$175! Why pay so much to look so awful? You don't have to. It's a snip at US$53. As if owning this scarf isn't bad enough, paying $53 for it would be enough to make me hang myself with it. 

I've got an idea. Let's put an exposed zipper a few centimetres across from where a zip would normally go. It's never been done before. The reason it's never been done is because it's daft. How's a guy supposed to go to the bathroom? I think if I were at a bar I'd just piss myself. They could be yours for US$93, reduced from US$310. 

Money must be tight in the Ford household

I have a feeling Mr Ford never approved this ad for Dale Wurfel. 

Meanwhile in Paris...

Last night John Galliano was gettin his booze on in Paris bar La Perle and got into a verbal argument with a couple who may have mistook him for a hobo. I don't know how drunk this fucking couple were because Galliano's hobo look is so costumey he looks like he just strolled off a Broadway production of Oliver. And he was drinking at La Perle! Real hobos drink in the gutter and wear Mizuno tracksuit pants not silk chiffon pirate shirts and custom made newsboy caps. 

Allegedly J-Gal was trying to have a toast with the couple who weren't having a bar of his homo-hobo pleasantries and they started hurling insults. They apparently called him ugly and disgusting!!! Now whether or not that's the case; if you're going to take on a drunk fag in a bar you best have some verbal artillery in your purse coz bitch will cut you down. Not skipping a beat Galliano shot back "you're ugly and your bag is fucking ugly too". 

BURRRRRRRRN!!!!

The couple called the cops and claim Galliano made anti-Semitic and racist slurs at them which Galliano denies. And now the head of Dior has suspended Galliano of his duties until the matter is cleared up. 

Arrgh, so many questions John!!! In no particular order:

1- You were aparently in the bar with just your bodyguard. Do you have a drinking problem? You have a ready to wear collection to show in a week. What are you doing out drinking anyway? 

2- Is your bodyguard hot? Are you fucking your bodyguard?

3-  Just how fucking ugly was this bag? Was it last season ugly or was it Guess bag ugly?

Let's pour some Mean Girls on it shall we?

And if this shit should go to court then his defence should be this

Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Fuckery

Bobby Trendy. I love the dude in the background wearing the sweatshirt and 501's. He's all some people have no idea about fashion

Alexander McQueen Fall 09

SHE SAID WHAT?

"It's important for your watch to be stylish and reflect your personality because you really don't need one any more as everyone has cell phones" - Cindy Crawford