Bottega Veneta Spring Summer 2012 Review

 Gorgeous

Spectac

Delicious

Questionable

Oh Tomas Maier. This guy. He just understands design. He produces really beautiful and sophisticated clothes. The first six models that walked weren’t white which was great. More diversity you fashion people! There was a purple dress in what appeared to be either cotton or washed silk. It had a leather placket with sporty press studs. Loving it. 
Not all of it worked. There were some questionable denim jeans and whip-stitched plastic overlays on dresses and tops. Some of the tribal interpretations were a bit meh, like the top that had little rough squares of coloured fabric hand stitched in a grid formation to the front. There were some cool caftan-like tops that looked like they’d just been poured over the models body then tucked into a pair of trousers. So overall it was tribal without the whole....

Proenza Schouler Spring Summer 2012 Review

Proenza Schouler I like Proenza Schouler but I’m not gonna gush. I hate reading blog posts where people are like OMG dying! Perfection! I need this bag from Alexander Wang! Clearly some bloggers are just joking and are trying to say how much they love something in a short and punchy way. I do it myself. Sometimes I’m serious but other times I’m making fun of myself and other mindless bloggers. And I’m also making fun of fashion as well. If you look back at some of my posts you’d think I was having a mild stroke the way I write about the cut of a sleeve or a particular shade of blue. Sometimes I just need to calm my tits. What gets to me the most is bloggers who give constant praise to designers because they falsely believe it’s going to help their ‘career’ and maybe get them front row at fashion week nestled between Sally Singer and Edward Enninful. FUCK YOU. I’m aware this rant is aimless so I think I’ll stop. And ragging on other bloggers when I’m equally absurd? Way harsh Tai.

 Not doing what every other designer is doing doesn’t make your collection a hit but it does make you smart if you play your cards right. Let’s say you consult a fashion forecaster and they tell you for spring 2012 it’s all about pastels, peplums, white and colour blocking. You can take those cues and reinterpret them. Fashion critics and buyers can be all oh yes, very on trend, our customer will respond enthusiastically to those prints. You’ll get moderate to luke-warm but still positive reviews and Bergdorfs will buy 15 of the lemon pant and 10 of the sleeveless blouse with the cat print (Victoria Beckham you sly dog). So everyone wins, people buy clothes, designers get money. The hamster keeps running in it’s wheel.

OR

You can take that forecast advice and make a calculated judgement about what not to design and just how far you’ll push those trends. Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez fall into the smart category. What I saw on the runway... A sickly looking Daffodil (I think) print. I’m not sure why I find this print unappealing. There was brown, a miniature zebra print, some sporty elements like jacket toggles, geometric printed fabric that recalled woven Pacific Island mats, structured jackets with inserts of maybe tweed. There was what appeared to be a woodblock print of a totem pole or tiki (though I don’t think it’s a tiki. Aren’t they Hawaiian?) on a brief jacket and that geometric print on a jumper in brown, yellow and black. The camera bag. This is going to be a hot item and whether or not it actually contains a camera doesn’t matter. But can you imagine if they did a collab with Leica? OMG dying! Re- mortgaging my house! Txt it.
The use of eel skin was smart as it complimented the island theme with it’s imperfections. There was definitely a story there and but they used restraint unlike Donna Karan and Michael Kors who both had tribal elements in their collections. In other words it didn’t drive the collection, it merely assisted. The story could’ve been something stupid like it’s about a girl who washes ashore a small island with an active volcano and she uses the materials of the land to make some smart, directional clothes. She builds a 2 bedroom villa and opens an exclusive shopping strip that revitalises the waterfront. I think Donna Karan and Michael Kors can both be thankful that PS have given legs to this ‘tribal’ trend so you can expect a Vogue spread with Sessilee Lopez coming your way soon. Two dresses with a sunny flower print echoed a beach sarong with their twisted fronts that then swooped up past their hips, elongating the body. Okay now I’m gushing. The more I look at this collection the more I love it. Proenza 4EVA! Creying. Ovaries. Call me and we’ll make a Proenza/No Trends sandwich.

Narciso Rodriguez Spring Summer 2012

 No. Yes. Yes

No. No. Fuck me dead, no.

Rodriguez has really pushed himself into new territory this season. Regular customers will probably be perplexed but Rodriguez is long overdue for something new. Was he trying something new because he felt genuinely inspired or was it simply trend-driven? It was pastel colour blocking and tricky draping-too tricky at times.
Some of the pieces looked over- designed and recalled the work of Helmut Lang and Balenciaga. The jackets didn’t work. They were strong in the shoulder then fell straight and low and swishy. Extremely unflattering. Look at a Stella McCartney collection if you want to see a well constructed oversize tailored jacket. Despite the tricksy construction the collection was concise with just 30 looks. It’s such a drag when designers like Michael Kors show 60+ looks because if you don’t get your message across after 30 looks then you’re clutching at straws. The pants were strong and some of best I’ve seen so far (Karen Walker's pants were great too but they always are).

Karen Walker gives good pant.

Preedom

So Michael Kors, that delectable honey-glazed ham had this to say about Pre-fall:

"All you writers in the room need to come up with a new word. 'Pre' [as in pre-fall] is disgusting." He continued: "Everyone knows now that resort is important, but because the name 'pre-fall' is so ugly, no one wants to acknowledge that these are the clothes you actually put in your closet.” (For the full article head to Fashionologie bitches).

Do those succulent lips speak the truth? Possibly. So I gots to thinkin about 'pre' words both good and gross.

GROSS GROSS GROSS

Pre-cum

You can read a book about this highly covert male act...

You can buy the book here. I suggest you all buy it. 

Pre-menstrual shedding

 

Pre-nuptial agreement. 

 Rest in sweet pillowy heaven Anna bb gurl

GOOD GOOD GOOD

Premarital sex

If there's one thing you have to do in life it's shaming your family. Why not do it the traditional way? 

Or better yet, have sex with Neve Campbell. 

Primadonna

OK so got a little WAAAAAAAY off topic and I hear you all asking 'but Nigel, what do you think they should change pre-fall to?' Why that's easy: Post-summer

MICHAEL KORS: MODERN AMERICAN SPORTSWEAR

Great show for fall from Michael Kors. It got a bit repetitive and could’ve been whittled down to about 35 looks.

The collection was military in colour with a beautiful olive buttoned skirt combined with a grey jersey top and Kors somehow managed to make suede slouch boots look modern by pairing them with thick woolen socks.


It was very in tune with what other designers such as Phoebe Philo are doing with minimalism and pieces that have a certain timelessness about them.

CACHAREL SPRING 2010

I flicked through the Cacharel collection and when I got to the end I didn’t recognize the head designer. Cacharel’s been on the down low over the past number of years, it’s popularity waned with designers Eley Kishimoto doing their best to keep the label relevant in the early 00’s but to no avail. Belgian Cedric Charlier has been hired as head designer and I know nothing about this guy so we’ll gloss over that and move through to what was on show. Okay, I just Googled him and he’s done six years at Lanvin and a stint at Michael Kors. The plot thickens.
There were elongated shirts in white, cream and blush with neat little collars. The skirt shape was modern with pleats and the hem dipped low at the back. It just sat in a way that looked refreshing especially when paired with the stretched shirts and knit tops.
There was a speckled print shirt-dress that reminded me of a 90’s formica bench-top. It looks cooler than it sounds. Trust. Charlier squared things off with (what I presume to be hand-painted) coats and dresses. It looked like paint had been smeared on with a spatula. The colours were great.
Overall this is a fantastic debut for Charlier, he clearly has an eye for colour and proportion. My only criticism (if you could call it that) was that it looked like something that could’ve come from Chloe.