House of Holland Spring Summer 2013 Review

Above: Delicious

Below: Lauren Bacall is not impressed

Henry Holland’s spring 2013 collection had some very pedestrian looking clothes with little to no design. Not only were the prints ugly it’s like they gave him an excuse to design simple clothes. Even though most of the collection was shit there were a few really strong looks. The best was a sheer cropped blouse with a peter pan collar that had a matching skirt. It was both revealing and covered up at the same time (if that’s possible) making for a sexy, modern look. I don’t know why he didn’t investigate this idea more instead of making rubbish pants, shorts and dungarees. Overall it looked like he ran out of steam and his attempts at humour fell flat. What I initially thought was ‘Bitch’ printed on a t-shirt was actually ‘Bitchin’ but the ‘in’ was obscured by the models’ hair. I loved the 90's but I don't think this was a strong. If I remember correctly, grunge in the 90's was moody not boring. 

Victoria Beckham Spring Summer 2013 Review

Victoria Beckham is out to prove she can design and run a successful brand. She’s doing that by presenting immaculately tailored clothes and this season is no exception. For spring Beckham introduced separates with silk shirts that were giving me 90’s Tom Ford Gucci flashbacks. Things started out causally with a series of loose fitting blouse/shirt/pant combos then moved on to more structured territory with sharply layered skirts and a beautifully cut boyfriend jacket in vermilion that skimmed the thigh. Beckham then showed her signature body hugging dresses, this time with sexy bra straps on show. All the shoes were flats. There was a derby shoe and a gladiator style. The outer-wear touches and the graphic cut on the final dress shows Beckham is slowly becoming more confident with her design skills. In previous collections all she ever talked about was the construction of her dresses and the thoughtfulness that went in to them which on its own is something to be admired but now that she’s got those solid foundations in place she’s giving herself room to start playing with design. Overall a strong collection.  

I am so 1999

I've been wanting a new fragrance for a long time. I currently only have two (Higher by Dior and Kenzo Air) and they're both sporty so I wanted something a little more...romantic? Something less zesty? I'm not a fragrance freak who's all the top notes are too cloying or it's too synthetic. What the fuck are you talking about you perfumista cunt? I'm just jelly that I don't have a nose for fragrance and I'm completely unadventurous when it comes to wearing them. I like to forget that I'm wearing a fragrance. If I can smell it without having to put my wrist to my nose then I'm wearing too much and it annoys me no matter how nice it smells.

I recently went to David Jones to have a look around coz I had a voucher. For those not familiar, David Jones think they're the Harrods or Bergdorf of Australia.

It's funny when you enter the fragrance section of their store because virtually every staff member approaches you to ask if you need help. Compare that with any other department and they could give a shit and are completely unwilling to help. But that's the fragrance section, they don't give a shit either, they just think you're gonna steal something. I'm pretty sure that's sales assistant 101 training. People are less likely to steal if you make their presence known.
That's what I hate most about shopping is the sales assistants. As soon as they say hi it's like ugggh I need to leave now. I just can't browse comfortably and I feel suddenly rushed which is the last thing I want to do with fragrances because finding a new scent isn't easy. And it's because they're watching you from a distance waiting for you to swipe a bottle of Angel. As if!
I looked around for probably less than 5 minutes and smelled a few scents. Burberry Sport, The Beat, something from Kenzo (a sales assistant told me her boyfriend and her Dad or Brother or some other guy have that exact scent. Creepy! Get away from me you mad bitch), Marc Jacobs Bang which in real life has a really cheap feeling decanter. I felt disappointed and started to leave when I saw YSL had their own separate counter from the other stuff and if I haven't professed my love for YSL before then I'll do it now.

This is what happens after I see a YSL collection...

I have that same navy skirtsuit too. Embarrassment.

Below is the Spring 2011 video with Arizona Muse. Adore her if you've got a spare 4 minutes.

I saw L'Homme and initially found it a bit screechy but I sprayed some on my wrist and went to work. For the whole shift I was smelling my wrist and deciding if I liked it. I did so I bought it the next day. The bottle is quite smart too.

So that's the bottle sitting atop Pilot magazine's latest issue. It's quite good though I found it a bit too lifestyle-ish. Needs more fashion. 

If you look up perfume reviews of L'Homme they're not very positive. Boring, unadventurous, yawn but I love it because it's easy to wear which is why so many perfumistas dislike it. One person said it should've been released in 1999 and I'm like fuck yeah 1999 was a grenade of fabulous...

Hrmph, maybs 1999 wasn't such a good year

Aphex Twin with one of the scariest videos ever made. 

Vitamin C. lol

Balenciaga

Alexander McQueen Spring Summer 1999

Apartment Rave

Yup. Looks like I've been home alone drinking goon (boxed/cask wine for my non-Australian drinkers or for those that have any self respect).

Would you be super embarrassed for me if I said I wasn't drunk when I took these shots?

So Tom Ford fragrance ad campaign right?

My amazing 90's anorak with suede-feel sleeve inserts is back for winter! As you can tell by the wrinkles it's been lovingly dumped in my wardrobe all summer. So about this backpack....

Amazing riiiiiiiiight?

I picked it up at a thrift store months ago and was like, you will be mine. I just don't know where I'm going to wear it. Perhaps on my way to the office in 1997? I'd be wearing Adidas runners and would keep tan court shoes in the bag for when I get to work like this bitch...

Mmmm hmmmm

Photo credit: http://seeminglyobscureculturalobservations.blogspot.com/

The reason I'm pantsless is not because I think I've got great pins but because I've hit a clothes crisis. Each new season I try to be all new trends, new look, new clothes, new, new, new and that’s about as far as I go. You may have noticed I’m not Anna Della Russo who has 3 outfit changes per day. PER DAY! I have like 3 per week. Fashion in the No Trends household has recently/a very long time ago ground to a halt. No new clothes have entered my domain and my wardrobe is looking bleaksville, population moi. This is in part due to my recent holiday in South America-which bled me dry- and my general unwillingness to go shopping. But I just scored a shopping voucher from work and I think I'm gonna have a credit card binge and do some online shopping. New shoes, new jeans, bag, watch. Everything. So excitement. 

Never thought I'd have an opportunity to use this raving chicken gif but fuck me in the ass I have. What a world!